Fighting

 

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Today is my 21st birthday. Which means that last night at midnight I turned 21 and went out for my first legal drink. I committed to one or two drinks, not enough to get me drunk. Confession time, it was really hard to say no to the shots people were offering to buy me. It was hard, in the heat of the moment to remember why I was even saying no. I wanted another drink and I couldn’t for the life of me remember why I was even fighting.

This morning, in class, we watched The Passion of the Christ, in my introduction to Christianity class. Throughout class, I heard gruesome details of the crucifixion and then watched a very realistic portrayal of it. Jesus was beat, He was mocked, and no one came to His rescue. Because He was my rescue. I am supposed to be on that cross, with nails through my hands and feet, and a crown of thorns in my head. It should be me. But it wasn’t. Because He came to my rescue. In trusting Christ, I said that He was enough for me, because His death on the cross said that I am enough. In saying that He is enough, I’ve chosen to make Him the Lord of my life. He calls the shots. He’s in charge. He sits on the throne.

Sitting in class brought everything full circle. I, for the past two years, have chosen not to drink because it is illegal and I am not above the law. God calls me not only to obedience in Him, but also obedience to the law of the land. And last night, it became legal for me to drink, so I did, but the Bible says, “do not get drunk on wine”. But sometimes, words aren’t enough for me. I need more. Jesus endured the cross, with JOY, I may add (Hebrews 12), to tell me that I am worthy of dying for, all I must do is make Him the Lord of my life and do everything I can to keep Him on the throne. This doesn’t mean falling into legalism, or striving, but simple acts of obedience, and sometimes sacrifice. Not getting drunk is the least I can do to keep Him on the throne; to keep me from getting in the way of what He is trying to do in my life. Anything that hinders my ability to submit to Jesus is a sin. Controlling what I eat, getting obsessed with materialthings, or getting drunk all do that. He has said that I am enough, I am worthy of eternal life because of His sacrifice. I will fight all the days of my life in gratitude of His death and the grace He has so freely given me, because He has found me, a broken little self-centered materialistic people-pleasing girl worthy of the ultimate gift – Himself.

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