The end of college has been a difficult season for me. The end of a relationship, the end of college and entering the big unknown without much direction has put me on my butt. I feel like a beat-up version of myself who is just trying to get through each day. Which I’m told is completely normal. The past few weeks, I’ve been suck in “my life sucks” mode with moments that remind me of God’s promises, but the moments are few and far between. Yesterday I received messages from two friends who I haven’t been in close contact with, and I was reminded of some very important truth. I am not alone. Countless others have been through this same transition before, and so many are in it right now. I am not alone.
I was so humbled. I felt like my eyes were suddenly open to God’s goodness in a season where I’ve felt beat up by the world. It was almost as if God himself removed blindness from my eyes and let me see all the good that He has blessed me with in the past couple weeks. Instead of having few moments of seeing God’s goodness, I’ve only had moments the past 2 days of “my life sucks.” I’ve seen restoration in some friendships. I’ve had my parents wrap their arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay – something I’ve needed since I was 16 year old. In the midst of feeling like a failure for graduating without a job, I’ve had acquaintances, close friends and family remind me just how proud they are of me… something so healing; if only I could get it to sink into my heart. I’ve been forced to start to think about what I want out of life through dreaming and communing with God. Older, wiser women have shared stories of their past break-ups and broken hearts as encouragement that it does, in fact, get better. Psalms have come alive to me – talk about saying Amen at the end of Psalm 27 when David says, “Yet I am confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!” So many close friends and even those I’m not super close to have sat in my suffering with me to make sure I know I’m not alone. I am not alone.
I’ve been reminded that I’m oh so lost and broken, but that’s not the end of the story. I am deeply loved by a God who refuses to let me be in suffering alone, that’s why He sent Jesus, and why Christian community reflects God’s love. Even when I have nothing to offer, and I am a hot mess around friends, they love me in it. Because I am not alone.