Habits & Grace

“Large coke, light ice in a styrofoam cup, please.” The words were out of my mouth before I even had time to think. Once I heard the words come out, I quickly remembered that I have not had a large coke in 11 weeks, from McDonalds or anywhere else for that matter. I had not had any soda for that long. Eleven weeks ago, I quit coke cold turkey in an effort to be healthier. I don’t even miss it, but today, as I pulled up the McDonalds drive thru, the words just came out of my mouth as second nature.
Second nature is a scary thing in my relationship with God, because my second nature is my flesh – my natural response. I am critical of myself and others. I rush around. I start believing that what I do is more important than who I am. I compete. I manipulate. All of this without realizing I’m doing it.
Gods perfection has made me aware of just how easily fall back into these habits of sin and unhealthiness. Compared to his standard, I fall short each day.
God’s grace leads me to a better way, a fuller life. He calls me as I am into relationship with him. He calls me to freedom to be me. And yet how quickly I turn right back into my second nature habits. As I’ve written this month I’ve realized how little I leave space for grace in my life. I plan it in in snipets, but do not truly allow God to move throughout my day. My second nature wins out most of the time. I want to live more fully in the moment, awake to what God has for me. And that requires kicking habits and creating good, healthy habits long term, even when my second nature habit is to order a large coke light ice.

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