Caitlin Snyder

Monday Lovin’

Published on February 9, 2015February 8, 2015 by Caitlin Snyder1 Comment

Rarely do I end the weekend excited for Monday morning. This is not because I dread my job, I love my job, but the 9-5 schedule can be taxing. Add in a couple evenings of retail work and the rest a weekend can provide sometimes doesn’t quite feel like enough. I usually start the week wishing for more sleep, more rest and more quiet. But Sunday was full of rest and quiet, preparing me for another week.

Jojo Moyes’ Me Before You captivated my attention this weekend. I took a break from the other book I’m reading (a younger version of myself would judge me) to read it. For a quick, weighty, forces you to think, read, I highly recommend it! My poor roommate listened to me gasp all afternoon when and say, “I just can’t even.”

This weekend was full of quality time. Time with my parents, my brother, my co-workers and my roommate. Since quality time is my love language, my heart is so happy because of good time with the people I love. I enjoyed laying around the apartment doing absolutely nothing with my roommate today, online window shopping and talking about life. I’ve been so blessed to live with such great women, but with different schedules we don’t always get to spend a lot of time together.

On a whim I started following Lauren Conrad on Instagram. I highly recommend it, if you’re looking to follow a celebrity who is girly and fun!

One of my favorite authors/bloggers is Emily Freeman. She speaks my soul language. Last week she wrote a very freeing blog about work. I can struggle to want to work some days, and then feel guilty because the work I do is so worthy. I am thankful to do my job, and yet some days I just don’t want to do it. Or days I feel like I’ve put my whole heart into it and the outcome isn’t what I want. She wrote, “Work we love is still hard work.” Yes. And hard work is worthy, kingdom work. It’s worth the fight.

On Thursday night at small group we studied Hebrews 11. (I’m teaching on Hebrews 12 this Thursday, so if you think about it, say some prayers for me.) It’s the Hall of Faith and full of stories of how God is faithful to His children when they obey and walk in faith. I’ve cherished the time I’ve spent reflecting back on all that God has done in my life. When we step out in faith, God responds; He does not leave or forsake His children.

Have a great week!

Fighting for Freedom

Published on February 5, 2015February 4, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

For as along as I can remember, food and I have had an unhealthy relationship. Like middle school dating when the couple lovingly bickers about who should hang up first, food and I couldn’t quite figure out how to quit each other. Unlike the middle school relationship where they breakup when one realizes that the fit isn’t quite right, my emotionally dependent relationship with food followed me into adulthood. Some seasons have been worse than others, but until recently it felt like the boyfriend I could not quite stay away from even though the relationship wasn’t good for me.

My unhealthy relationship with food looked something like this: purposely leaving my sorority house during the dinner hour because I was stressed and “didn’t feel like eating”; binging on sweets after a hard day of classes only to feel guilty and workout during dinner instead of eating real food; writing my weight on my calendar daily. As a girl who tends to live a jam-packed, one may say, overpacked, schedule, when I started to feel overwhelmed, I longed for something to control. Manipulating food was a coping mechanism. While some turn to alcohol or sex, at my absolute lowest, being hungry gave me a high that made me thrive. Weight loss was not the primary goal, control was, but somewhere along the way, they became interconnected. I was so lost in this unhealthy relationship that I did not know my way out.

Unlike an unhealthy relationship with a person, I need food to survive. It’s necessary to function. It not as simple as cutting off communication with someone who may be toxic; its something I have needed to wrestle with every day.

In the spring of 2014, I trained for the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon and during my training I started to lose weight. Instead of my brain recognizing that I needed to eat more food to compensate for the 1,000 calories I would burn on my long runs, my mind traveled down the well-worn path of unhealthiness. “I wonder if I could eat less and lose more weight?” Thankfully, I heard a voice louder than the unhealthy whisper. This louder voice said, “Caitlin, we’re not doing this again, you’ve fought too hard against this, we can’t go there again.” Praise be to God.

I had several “come to Jesus” moments when I knew I needed to get well. This is not an issue I wanted to watch my daughters deal with. I longed to be healthy, to love my body and to develop productive coping mechanisms. I longed to be free. I wish I could remember exactly what worked, but over two years later, I’m still learning and growing. It helps to remember just how much freedom I’ve experienced from something that held me captive for so long. It is healing to tell my story.

In the past year, I have made several commitments to my body and mind.

I will feed it good food. Food that nourishes and fuels. I will feed it enough food for what I expect it to do. Key in this food issue is a nutritional rebalancing system that I’ve been on since August. It has solidified healthy habits that I was trying to establish, and has prevented me from using busyness as an excuse to skip a meal, thus triggering more unhealthiness.
I will workout. Ironically, running has become a safe guard for me. I love to run, I love to get faster. In order to get faster and train at a high level, I have to make sure that I eat the right things. Working out on a regular basis encourages me to fuel my body with the right food.
I will make sure it gets adequate rest – not just hours of sleep, but recovery time. I will listen to it when it is hurting. Pain as gain is not always the case. Especially when I’ve seen how pain and discomfort can mess with my mind.
I will recognize my triggers. As I said above, control and food/weight loss are interconnected in my mind. Even though my unhealthy relationship with food is not always related to a desire to be skinnier, hearing about fad diets or listening to someone say, “I haven’t eaten all day,” can tempt me into controling food in an unhealthy way.
I will view it as strong. Instead of getting frustrated that I can’t run faster or that instead of running 7 miles, I had to stop and walk a couple times, I will remember how thankful I am for a body that lets me run. My legs work the way they are supposed to. My athletic muscles allowed me to enjoy a decade of soccer and how they’re enabling to me healthily cope with stress and giving me a great hobby through running.

Today after my weekly Wednesday workout, I stepped off the treadmill (2.5 miles in 20:10 thank you very much), I silently thanked my body and I silently said a prayer of thanks to God. I ate a good dinner and packed my lunch for tomorrow. I’m learning not to take my body for granted. I want to be healthy, mind, body and soul. I want to look at myself as one who is made in the image of God, giving Him the glory for everything. Just like we have to set good boundaries in relationships with others, I have to set good boundaries in my relationship with my body. I’m learning and growing and being patient along the way.

Note: This is my story regarding food and control issues. It is just that – my story. The ways that I’ve processed through unhealthy behavior are not what I would recommend for anyone and everyone. I know that this is a controversial topic. I also know sharing my story is part of my own healing.

Monday Lovin’

Published on February 2, 2015February 1, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

Movie night, game night, Bazbeaux’s, and football all make for a full weekend! If January is any indication, this year is going to be a great one! I’m excited for the first Monday of February!

I remember the Mia Hamm and Michael Jordan Gatorade commercials. They taunted each other, playing different sports and singing, “Anything you can do, I can do better, anything I can do, I’m better than you.” Mia Hamm became such a significant role model for me; she challenged me to be better and to dream bigger. Her ability to compete at a high level for a decade sets an example for women and men. My favorite commercial during the Super Bowl last night was the #likeagirl campaign. I love strong women, in all careers, in all spheres of influence. I hope the #likeagirl commercials can influence another generation of girls to dream and to become the best people they can be.
This song.

On Saturday, I spent time with some sorority sisters who were two years younger than me. I discipled a couple of them, and led the Bible Study that they were in my senior year. I loved having the opportunity to hear about our chapter, how things have changed, what is still the same, and to catch up about what God is doing in their lives. Hearing about how their faith has grown points me to God’s faithfulness.
New spring clothes at J.Crew. Yes. This is one of my new favorite things!
Hebrews 10. We studied it on Thursday at small group and I was reminded why I love the book of Hebrews and how special this specific chapter is. “Let us spur each other on to love and good deeds!”

Sinking In: Thoughts on Turning 24

Published on January 29, 2015January 29, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

It was only fitting to celebrate my birthday in Bloomington, Indiana. To me, celebrating birthdays is an opportunity to recognize the thousands of small moments that took place throughout the year and to reflect on the goodness of God over the course of a person’s life. As I drove the sixty miles south on Saturday with the sun was high in the afternoon sky, I was overcome with thankfulness of God’s faithfulness. There is not a single second in the past twenty-four years of my life that God has not been faithful. He has ordained every breath I breathe; I am not and never have been hidden from His sight. The truth of those words started to sink in when I was eighteen and a student at IU. Six years later, the words have sunk a little bit deeper, but I long to live as one who believes God for great and mighty things. In making the drive down 37, I was able to return to where the most significant part of my story started and celebrate everything that God has continued to do since then.

The past year has been one of incredible highs, some low lows, but truly the theme as been “sinking in.” Like trying to get comfortable in your bed at the end of the night, sometimes you’re a little restless before finding the right combination of sleep position, pillow fluffiness and temperature; this year I’ve worked through restlessness, fighting to find combinations that work. Combining alone time and spending time with friends, eating well and working out appropriately, time in Indianapolis and time other places, paying off student loans and saving for the future, working towards a worthy cause at work and rest, reading for fun and reading to learn, writing as a life-giving practice and fighting against guilt for not doing it enough, and maintaining old friendships and cultivating new ones. When the combinations are not quite right, I can feel exhausted, unfulfilled, or a mixture of both. I have not yet found the perfect combination, if it exists, but I’m sinking into the life I’m building in Indianapolis.

As I sink in, trying to find the right combination and get comfortable, I am reminded that things are not as they should be. There is a gap between how I want things to be and how they are. I work in international adoption, so I deal with this reality on a daily basis. But daily, I hear God telling me to continue to sink in, to lean into the tension that is being created. Stop fighting the tension and accept it. I have to let it mold me and change me because the gap will always be there. There will always be miscarriages, failed marriages, kids born with special needs, and lives taken from us far too soon. The gap is there for a reason – to draw my eyes upward and forward, towards a time and place where it will all be made right.

In the midst of the tension, I attempt to sink in; I try different combinations, learning more about myself every step of the way.

Monday Lovin’

Published on January 26, 2015January 25, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

Yesterday my day started with one of my best friends handing me coffee in a Happy Birthday mug and it ended with a celebratory glass of wine after working out with Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. It was a full day. It was the perfect 24^th birthday. I live such a rich life that taking time to thank God for all that He has given me almost makes my heart explode. I am excited to start this week as a 24 year old, and even more excited to see what this year will bring. This week I could go on and on about what I’m lovin’, but I decided to limit myself and just share a couple.

My parents got me a new pair of running shoes for my birthday. I went on my first outdoor run with them on Saturday and I love them! New running shoes are so bouncy, and I ran my fastest 5 miles ever. They are also gray with bright pink; I’ve learned over he years that fun work out clothes make me enjoy exercising even more.
Kilroy’s is my favorite Bloomington bar, followed closely by The Vid. This year as part of my birthday festivities, we went to The Vid. They may make the best Amaretto Sours, and I enjoy playing darts and enjoying time with my friends. Fun fact: 3 out of the last 4 years my birthday festivities have involved time at The Vid. I like traditions and being able to recall specific moments at places over the years. Time in Bloomington is like looking through a life-sized scrapbook, full of vivid memories that have shaped me into the person I am today.
The moments that have shaped me would be nothing without the friends who have walked through life with me. I loved feeling celebrated by friends near and far this weekend.
My closet is an example of my addictive personality. I get on a kick and then I can’t stop shopping for it. Examples: Coach bags, North Face, Patagonia, ballet flats, statement necklaces and now puffer vests. My new red and black gingham puffer vest from J.Crew Factor is one of my new favorite things. I wanted patiently for it to go on sale and luckily they still had my size. It came just in time for me to wear it on Saturday night. I am making strides towards simplifying my life starting first with my closet and while I’ve made progress, I could not resist the gingham puffer.
My senior year of college, I lived in this picture perfect Bloomington house that was nicknamed, The Dollhouse. I loved the house and I loved my roommates even more. In 2 months three of us are having a reunion in Texas, complete with a night at the rodeo! I am very excited to catch up with them and make new memories with two of my best friends!

So much to love, such a rich life. I am thankful for the discipline of gratitude in the midst of cold winters and seemingly long weeks.

With a great friend at The Vid on our two year “Frieniversary!” Look at that puffer vest 🙂

Friends Through Marriage

Published on January 22, 2015January 21, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

The summer of 2013 was my summer of weddings. After being in 3 weddings within six months of each other, I was invited to six weddings in one summer. Whew! It was a lot. I had just graduated from college and had moved back in with my parents while I continued to look for a job in both Cincinnati and Indianapolis. I was in a holding pattern, waiting for the next thing to happen.

As I drove to the second wedding of the summer, I checked my email while stopping for gas on I-75 somewhere between Dayton and Fort Wayne. I read the disappointing news that my number one choice of job had fallen through and I was back to square one, well not completely, but a temporary retail management position in Cincinnati is not what I wanted to be doing.

I wanted to celebrate with my friends as they started new chapters with their husbands and wives, and yet I could not shake the feeling that I was being left behind. It was as if marriage was an exclusive club and my invitation had been left in the mail. I felt left out and left behind.

I wish I could say I handled these feeling like an adult, and turned to the Lord, delighting in the story He was writing for my life, but like every other time I’ve felt left out and left behind, I stomped my feet and cried.

It hit me though, the gift of marriage is so special, not just to those who get married, but to their friends, too. I opened a thank you note from that summer and it said, “We’re so thankful for your friendship.” As my friends have gotten married, I’ve gained friends. Each time a friend gets married, and since that summer, I’ve been to plenty more weddings, another friend joins my corner. It’s one more person encouraging me, praying for me, and someone new to make memories with.

I could write a sad story about how not being married and not having a boyfriend is lonely with over half of my best friends married. I could share that I get left out of double dates because I don’t have a plus one. But, then I remember how many friends I’ve gained and the ways my life has been enriched because of my friends marriages and suddenly those feelings of being left out and left behind were unfounded. I’m reminded that we are all invited to see and participate in the celebration of marriage.

I see the character of God in the way He has created marriage not just as a gift to those who enter into the covenant, but also to those who bear witness to it. As for me, I’ll all for having more friends!

Monday Lovin’

Published on January 19, 2015January 18, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

Happy Monday! The weekend was unseasonably warm in Indianapolis, so this sunshine addict is one happy girl. In celebration of my birthday, my parents are coming to take me out to lunch, so today is truly a great Monday! I cannot wait to see them, show them my office and eat lunch with them. The following are also things I’m lovin’ this Monday.

I saw American Sniper on Saturday night. I haven’t seen a movie in the theaters in 2 years (the last one I saw was Lincoln… I may be a sucker for biopics) and this was the one to see. Man. Go see it! I have a completely new appreciation for those in the US Military and their families. The sacrifices that the men and women who don the uniform inspire me. The acting and production of the movie was intense and beautifully done. Even though it’s the only movie I’ve seen that was nominated for Best Picture, I think it should win hands down.
It’s half-marathon training season, and Saturday it was fifty degrees with sun. My five-mile run was enjoyable, especially for January. I’m hoping for some more unseasonably warm Saturdays in the next couple months. I am also remembering how much I love training. Last year I was studying the book of James while training and the verse, “Perseverance must finish its cause so you can be mature and complete, not lacking in anything,” became the theme of my spring. I am waiting to see which verses I am able to memorize through this training season.
Last night was 3 Party for Indiana University Sorority Recruitment. Seeing the photos blow up my social media reminds me of such a special season filled with wonderful women. The Phi Mu sisterhood played an integral role in my faith, character and who I am today. I am thankful to be a part of something bigger than me.
Mark Batterson’s The Circle Maker. I wish every Christian could read this book about the importance of prayer. The author does a great job weaving his own narrative throughout his exhortation of the power of praying through your dreams. Sometimes I question why I have to pray for something, thinking, “God is sovereign, it will all work out the way He wants it to,” but Batterson pushes back against that mindset. He reminds the reader that our hearts change in prayer. Being in a season of dreaming with open hands, asking the Lord to lead me where He wants to, this book reminded me that if my dreams can be accomplished without God, then they aren’t big enough. I highly recommend this challenging read.
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Fun fact about me: my freshman year I was a AAADS minor. AAADS stands for African American and African Diaspora Studies. Yes, this sorority girl, who loves party tanks, shops at J.Crew and whose favorite movie is Legally Blonde, took quite a few AAADS classes and in the process gained a basis for my senior thesis, which I wrote on the role of Black pastors in the Civil Rights Movement. Much can be said about Martin Luther King Jr., and much will be said for decades to come, but the way he fought against injustice lights a fire under me to stick up for the social justice issues of our time, not just because its popular or trendy, but because God cares about justice. He is a God of mercy, compassion and freedom. Jesus came to set the captive free.

Have a great week!

Finding the Right Rhythm

Published on January 15, 2015January 14, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

I sprinted my way through the fall. When I stopped or slowed down, I looked like a basketball player trying to catch his breath in between suicides, sweat dripping off the brow. Instead of long slow inhales, I panted. Just when my breathing was semi-regular, I started my next set of suicides. My treadmill workouts mirrored my life. Short, quick runs followed by strength building with weights. Each time I stepped on the treadmill, I tried to beat my time from my previous workout. I wanted to get faster and I wanted to maximize my workout in the short time I allowed myself. My fitness tends to be the metaphor for my life.

Honestly, I do okay in sprint mode, never fully recovering from the last set – the last week or the last month. In fact, sprint mode is my default; I’ll blame it on a deep desire to prove my worthiness, which I’m trying to work through. It takes energy for me to slow down and take deep breaths, truly allowing my lungs to taste the fresh air. I like a jam packed schedule, and eating meals in my car does not really bother me, until I am exhausted, and then, I stand with my hands on my knees, bent over, trying to catch my breath.

I set foot on the treadmill this week, starting to train for a half-marathon in April, and instead of letting my body run as fast as it could for two miles, I pushed the speed button down and tried to find a different pace. The long run this past week may have only been 4 miles, but by April, I’ll be running 10+ miles on any given Saturday. Long runs demand a different pace, a slower rhythm.

This will be my second half-marathon and I learned last spring how important it is to train as a sustainable pace. You just can’t sprint 10 miles. Like anywhere worth going, or anything worth achieving, running long distances takes time. As I set foot on the treadmill last week and begun training, I resisted the urge to keep upping the speed. I took deep breaths as my feet pounded the treadmill belt and I let my mind wander, reminding myself that getting done faster wasn’t the goal, finding a good pace was. “Run longer, not faster,” is becoming my motto, both on the treadmill and in other areas of my life.

With holiday season over, I’m settling back into a more manageable schedule, but still trying to find the right rhythm, one that allows air to reach my lungs. I’m becoming more comfortable with a quiet night at my apartment to cook a meal, read a book and write. I’m finding myself curled up in bed with a mug full of tea at 8 pm, allowing my spirit to rest. Ten years from now, I want to look back on my life and be able say that I walked faithfully until the end, instead of burning out early because started out sprinting. My pace must be sustainable in order to produce faithfulness for the long-term over speed in the short-term.

May this be a season defined by rhythm and space to breathe. May my pace be sustainable in order to walk faithfully with the Lord for a lifetime.

Monday Lovin’

Published on January 12, 2015January 12, 2015 by Caitlin SnyderLeave a comment

Happy Monday! I hope you’re staying warm during the arctic-like temperatures from last week and heading into this week. The theme of this weekend was rest. On Saturday I hit a new level of laziness by wearing pajamas until I put on workout clothes and then putting my pajamas back on after I showered. My body and spirit needed the rest.

This Old Navy scarf was a favorite of mine from my junior year of college. I had semi-forgotten about it, until I was going through my closet last week (part of my simplify goal of 2015). I remembered how comfy, warm and colorful it is. If you see me in the next week, it is likely that I’ll be wearing the scarf.

I grew up in Ohio. I grew up on Buckeye Football. I was in 6^th grade when Ohio State won the National Championship. In Ohio, football is king. Then I moved to Indiana, where basketball is KING, and graduated from a university with a legacy of basketball championships. You can’t live in Indiana and be indifferent to basketball. My senior year of college, #iubb was ranked number one. The pride that the campus took in our top ranked Hoosiers highlighted the year. The past two basketball seasons have been disappointing, but on Saturday, the Hoosiers beat the ranked Buckeyes, reminding me once again, that despite my Ohio roots, I live in the basketball state. Complicating matters further, on Monday night, I will be rooting for the Buckeyes in the National Championship game.

During my lazy day on Saturday, I watched some West Wing. I figured that I after two months of binge watching Gilmore Girls, I needed to switch things up. I’m glad I did. Why? Because Rob Lowe. That’s all. I could watch Rob Lowe, specifically as Sam Seaborne all day, every day. On the show, he’s a very smart, very good-looking, optimistic dreamer… Marry Me, Rob Lowe.

I’m not usually a beer girl. I like it, but usually prefer a sweet wine or a fun fruity cocktail. However, this weekend, I bought the Leinenkugel Winter Sampler Pack and fell in love with the Cranberry Ginger Shandy. It was sweet and wheaty, but with some ginger. I highly recommend it for people who are fruity beer fans.

I hope your week is off to great start and full of warm winter clothes to keep you warm during this brutal weather!

A Reading Round-Up from 2014

Published on January 8, 2015 by Caitlin Snyder2 Comments

I challenged myself to read my way through 2014 last January. Over the course of the year, I read 34 books. Throughout all the reading, I learned that I tend to navigate towards female writers, I’m not a huge lover of fiction, and that not all bloggers make great authors. Not every book was a new favorite, but there were quite a few that I recommend.

Books everyone should read:

Daring Greatly, Brene Brown

Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning

Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Katherine Boo

I Am Malala, Malala Yousafzai

Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

Half the Sky, Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

The Locust Effect, Gary A. Haugen and Victor Boutros

Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Speak, Nish Weiseth

To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Honorable Mentions: